Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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