4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
