I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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