Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
