How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
