I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
