I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
