im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
