Where did you get a picture of my penis
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
