help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm always down for nudity.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
