people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
