It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
