It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
