I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
