Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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