theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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