I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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