I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
there's paper in my vomit.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm passing your future prison.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
