...so i touched it.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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