If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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