he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
