That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
