im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
