I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
