doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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