I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
