so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
