so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
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