Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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