i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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