His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
