i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Randomize
