is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
