It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize