I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
