So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the condom got lost in my hair
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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