If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
