i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize