we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
