i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
