Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I will pee on everything he values.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
