i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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