Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize