I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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