Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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