There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
