It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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