hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
