can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
