Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
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