Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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