Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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