she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
