We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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