I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
