We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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