some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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