You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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