ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
