Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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