I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
