you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
