How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
