It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
