i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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