I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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