Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
