my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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