If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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