Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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